I don’t come here often, but I may be reconsidering

I was wandering around Home Depot the other day. No, not my usual shopping hot spot, but in retrospect not the worst way to spend a rainy afternoon. There’s something about strong men in work-boots driving pickup trucks. And they happen to be Home Depot’s target demographic. It’s not me in my nautical inspired preppy ensemble trying not to touch anything dirty against my white jacket.

My shopping companion, attired in work-boots and a pickup truck, pulls out his list,

“Ok we need ‘L’ brackets, where would those be?”

If we were in Victoria’s Secret I could find my way around with my eyes closed, BUT we’re not.

I spot a guy in an orange Home Depot apron,

“Excuse me, where are the ‘L’ brackets?”

“Hold on.”

He pulls out his cell phone. Is he going to google map it?

I spot a giant pin on his apron: ‘Hi! I’m training.’

Next we need screws. I have never seen so many screws in my life. A whole aisle, floor to ceiling. They seem to be color coded. I’m asked,

“Now which ones?”

I’m sure this is a rhetorical question, but I want to help.

“I like the ones in the purple box.”

I continue to be extremely helpful. Two hundred dollars later we leave the store with an assortment of things that I’m told will become a kitchen island. My jacket is still white.

After spending time in several different departments of Home Depot. I’d say forget Match.com, stay away from the garden center and focus your time between hardware and tools.

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