What do you mean my giant blue finger isn’t sexy?

A big beefy guy walks into the bar. He stops in his tracks. He says to me,

“You stopped me in my tracks.”

I smile and wait to see how this is going to go. He continues,

“I have never seen anyone wear Levi’s as well as you.”

“Thank you.”

“If they were white, I’d throw a ring at you.”

He sticks his hand out at me,

“I’m Mark* what’s your name?”

*You know that’s not his real name.

“Jessica.”

My finger with the cut is bandaged up and has a blue rubber finger condom on it to keep it dry. I’ve created a giant blue finger. Mark continues,

“Everything about you is sexy: your pants, your shirt, but not your finger. Your blue finger is not sexy.”

I tell my bar manager. He says,

“He’s right. Your finger isn’t sexy.”

Mark waves me over,

“I’m Mark what’s your name?”

“Jessica.”

“I can get you off your boyfriend.”

“Nope.”

“I’m not drunk. Do you want me to do my ABCs?”

“No.”

“I can do my ABCs I promise.”

“You already introduced yourself twice.”

Sexy finger time.

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