Contractions, coffee and cleaning

It’s hard to remember now, but once upon a time I did some online dating. Which I recommend if you need to material for a blog.

After every mediocre to terrible date my first thought was to erase their number from my phone. But there were a few legitimate crazies I never wanted to talk to again. My mom mentioned keeping their number labeled so I wouldn’t answer it. There are a couple numbers under “Crazy Guy Match.com don’t answer.”

I forgot they’re in my contacts, until for some unknown reason I was included on a group text from a Match.com guy. I’m not sure who he thinks my number is. At first I was going to be a good Samaritan and let him know that he’s got me confused with somebody else, but then I remembered I was on vacation and I didn’t do anything.

This group text just rolled in:

Match.com guy to some other person,

“I’ll give you guys until 9:30 and then I’m coming in with the cleaner.”

“Hey sorry! I was having some contractions so I stayed home.”

“Gloria started on the windows, I’m going on a coffee run, do you want anything?”

I want a coffee.

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