Sitting on pins and needles over here. Please please please let this election be a blowout for Biden. I know there’s no reason to expect this, but waiting days or weeks to see who won, while the criminal in office claims he won, is not how I want to spend the future.

This administration, this pandemic and not to be discounted entirely: my children, have aged me to the point that my insides feel OLD. Current photos of me look way younger than how I feel.

And my wardrobe isn’t helping. On a walk with a neighbor I remark,

“You look really put together!”

“I do?”

“Yes! Maybe it’s the jeans.”

I used to wear jeans all the time. Yes I still could. But when Captain is in snuggy, fleece pants, RB is in a snuggy, fleece onesie and BB is wearing a tutu, I can’t see any reason to wear jeans. Especially considering I just got a new pair of fleece pants.

Snuggy is winning. So when BB said she wanted to be a unicorn for Halloween and Target had unicorn onesies for the whole family, I didn’t have to give it much thought. And I should’ve because now I need to store a giant, adult, unicorn onesie.

On Halloween night, scantily-clad teenage girls pass us. I turn to Captain,

“What were their costumes?”

“I don’t know. Minimal?”

I prance along with my unicorn babies, my figure all but a mystery and I reflect on my life choices. In a different lifetime, the goal of my Halloween costume was minimal too.

I complete my life assessment as we trot through the neighborhood. I’m much happier and cozier. But I am going to go home and marvel at my Wonder Woman costume from 8 years ago.

If Biden wins, I’ll put on those 4-inch heels to celebrate. Or at least a pair of jeans.

And no matter what administration we end up with, I will wear my unicorn onesie again next year. My fleece pants fit under it perfectly