We’re incorporating our household, everyone please refer to your policy handbooks

This morning I sat down to write and WordPress, (my site host), put an unrequested content prompt in my personal writing space:

“What are your favorite physical activities or exercises?”

What’s that? How is that helpful? Are these tailored prompts or are the gazillion WordPress users of all stripes being asked to weigh in on their physical movement?

I’m stationary, on the couch, with my coffee.

Captain is recovering from a pulled back muscle. He’s moving even less than I am.

Hard to say how it happened. Leaning down to the side from his over-sized lawn tractor, to haul 35-pound RB up onto the seat, couldn’t have done anything good.

After weeks of intermittent pain and one long morning of trying to get to the shower from the bed. He agreed to go to the doctor.

I called to make the appointment. The nurse told me,

“We can’t share any of his medical information with you.”

I have all the information I need. “I just want to schedule an appointment.”

He went to the doctor and I went out for lunch with my dear friend who’s a doctor. She told me,

“Everyone comes in with back pain. It’s the number one reason people go to the doctor.”

Another top reason middle-aged people go to the doctor is for skin related issues, like my eye dermatitis. We’re just another stereotypical middle-aged couple.

Captain came home with muscle relaxers, anti-inflammatory meds and sheets of exercises. Based on my friend’s generous off-the-clock advise, I came home with CBD oil.

Captain was skittish. He said,

“Isn’t that what Brittney Griner got arrested for?”

“I bought it over the counter at CVS. Just don’t take it to Russia.”

A week later and Captain is feeling like a new man. He may still be channeling his inner rock star from Halloween.

Based on his doctor’s advice, he’s intent on installing a chin-up bar to hang from and stretch his back. He eyeballs one of the doorways to the library/office.

When you walk in our house, my library, his office, is to the left of our front door. It shares a wall with the front entry, the kitchen and the living room. I’ve covered this before in this blog, but it is a TERRIBLE location if you’re trying to have a zoom meeting.

The only noisier place to sit would be five feet over in the kitchen itself.

The library/office has two doorways, one opens into the kitchen. The other is next to the front door that we use ALL THE TIME and across from the stairs to the girls’ bedrooms.

Captain and I have debated the location ad nauseam. We have debated it since about the third day of the pandemic. He has decided to stay put and I have decided that if the kids need to scream from upstairs down to the kitchen, past his OPEN office door, because there’s no door on one of the doorways, then so be it.

So this open doorway is the one he’s considering for his chin up bar. The doorway is blocked with the tallest baby gate I’ve ever seen. I’m the only one in the family capable of stepping over it.

Captain considers the situation. He says,

“I’ll need to take the gate down if I’m going to put the chin-up bar here.”

“How do you intend to keep the kids out of the office?”

“Policy?”

“Policy?!”

Children, please refer to your HR documents, which state that you may not go through this open doorway weekdays between the hours of 8am – 5pm. We appreciate your understanding.

The next day the door between the office and the kitchen was open. Both kids wandered in to join Captain at work. When he came out to the kitchen I couldn’t help but ask,

“How’s that policy working out?”

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