Tired of hearing about my deck? Then this isn’t the post for you

My “new” deck is open for business!

New in quotes because it’s been in progress for three years. And while that’s a slight exaggeration considering March 2022 will be three years, it’s been three summers.

I have no excuse for my delay in blogging aside from wandering aimlessly around my deck.

It’s beautiful. For all the people out there taking their decks for granted, I’m not there yet. I’m enjoying everything about it. My brisk coffee mornings, getting brisker by the moment. My kitchen slider functioning as a door instead of a barricade. My children screaming outside my kitchen window instead of under my feet.

The day we took the barricade down and walked out from the kitchen, felt like a miracle. RB had never even gone through that door before. The old deck disappeared before her time.

Tentative first steps and then racing back and forth. The deck is 800 square feet. That’s bigger than the condo Captain, BB and I started out in.

The kids run and run and run. RB counting the whole way,

“Two four five!”

One and three are overrated.

As I sing the deck’s praises, everyone keeps asking,

“What’s Captain’s next project?”

THE DECK STAIRS.

He may have other ideas, but stairs and railings will really be the crowning touch.

I’m well aware that this deck isn’t on anyone else’s radar, but it’s the product of a lot of sweat and tears. Sweat from Captain and tears from the rest of us.

Side note: RB turned two! Which was as good an excuse as any to invite people over to stand on the deck.

There was a hint of Baby Shark, with a heavy dose of pumpkin beer. I went with deck party rather than birthday party. I have my priorities.

Although the birthday deadline was good motivation for the construction crew, i.e. Captain.

I pushed for something similar last year, but you can see how well that worked out.

RB is just happy to have “friends.” Friends in quotes because she can be friends with anything. She’ll say hi to any person, pet or inanimate object. And woe becomes the person who doesn’t answer her right away. She stands at the edge of the deck monitoring the street. When people walk by without acknowledging her, she raises her voice, waves with her whole body and hollers,

“Hiiiiiii!!!”

Which is adorable.

When she’s yelling it at Captain, when he’s on a work call, not so much.

If there was any doubt as to what age she is, she woke up with the attitude to prove it. She was giving me trouble when I was trying to change her diaper. I put her back in her crib and told her,

“You can stay there until you’re ready to get your diaper changed.”

She looked at me and sighed,

“Oh fine.”

Praise be

Curtis Construction Company: count on perfection, pray for completion

2020 I’m waving a white flag over here. You took Justice Ginsburg. That’s enough now. And on Rosh Hashanah no less, as fitting as that may be.

BB tells me,

“We’re not Jews.”

“Why do you say that?”

“We don’t look like Jews.”

“What do Jews look like?”

“They wear grass skirts.”

I have NO idea where this information is coming from. She goes to a Jewish preschool with Jewish kids who look all sorts of ways: mainly small and 2 to 5 years old. I have not seen anyone in grass skirts.

Jews aside, Captain is building a deck.

Not just any deck. A dry deck with a third garage bay and more square footage than the condo we used to live in.

We’re in year 2 of construction. I was never tempted to blog about it before, but dire times call for home improvement blogs. Or really whatever material I can scrounge up around the house.

I was under no delusions that it would be finished last year. And this year doesn’t seem to be its year either. Maybe next year.

We’ve been home since March, but the pandemic induced inertia is real around here. There are so many little projects I could’ve, should’ve done by now, but I keep thinking,

“Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe next month. Or maybe when we have a new president.”

We’ve been hanging out on the part of the deck that’s finished. It’s 5 feet off the ground with no railings.

Captain is as sick of it as I am, so it’s nice to have someone to commiserate with about it. As we snuggled on the couch and complained, I sighed and said,

“The good news is RB won’t even remember this.”

On second thought, I turn to him and say in my most serious voice,

“This better not go on long enough for her to remember it.”

Captain starts daydreaming about the changes we want to make to the kitchen. I used to enjoy planning this too. Now I tell him,

“Nope. I will die in this 1980’s kitchen before we remodel it for 3 years.”

2021 I hope to see you soon, feel free to bring some good news: a new president, 13 Supreme Court justices and a deck with railings and stairs.

Shanah Tovah.