Pandemic Hanukkah was a success or so say my Hanukkah gnomes. Yes, we’ve jumped the shark.

A week ago, with an extra 15 minutes before BB’s school pick up, I pop into Home Goods. My thought was that I was going to grab Hanukkah wrapping paper and get out of there.

I was in a month ago and had already scoured their Hanukkah section. This time I couldn’t find it. I ask an employee,

“Is there still a Hanukkah section?”

She points behind me to a shelf surrounded by Christmas gnomes. I wander over. HANUKKAH GNOMES! WHAT?! I didn’t even know they existed and I don’t even have a shopping cart. I hold a couple in my arms and contemplate the check out line.

I don’t think I’m going to make it. I need to go get BB and these gnomes are ridiculous, unnecessary and the very definition of an impulse purchase. I put them down. I say goodbye to them. I linger. I stroke one of their beards.

I pick BB up from school. The beauty of school is that she always comes home ready to play independently. Off she goes. I put RB down for her afternoon nap.

Now I’m in a panic. I NEED those gnomes. What if someone bought them already? I throw on my coat about to rush out the door. BB exclaims,

“Where are you going? Please take me!”

A symptom of this pandemic is that she’s desperate to get out of the house for any reason. I sigh. Unprompted she says,

“I won’t ask for anything. I won’t touch anything. I’ll do what you say. I’ll stay right with you. I’ll wear my mask. I won’t talk.”

That last one sounds like a stretch, but I hear her desperation. I take her along.

We select several gnomes, a couple Hanukkah throws, a sign and some hand towels. So much for just the gnomes.

BB and I arrange them on the newly wrapped plywood air-conditioner cover. Looks meant to be.

BB runs to Captain excited to show him. The gnomes still have their tags on, as if I’d return them.

Captain studies the display. Half resigned, half smiling, because who can’t resist those adorable nose beard faces? He says,

“We’re in uncharted territory now.”