Breast milk with a kick

I went to my first mothers’ group the other day. No I do not have a baby, but my friend has two so there were plenty to go around. She found a mothers’ group online so I tagged along for my first internet mommy date.

Maybe it’s because I’m not a mother, but that group was not a good time. Boobs are great. Who doesn’t love a good boob conversation?  But talking about milk production and blocked nipples takes the fun out of it.

I’ve had a puppy. My puppy would crap herself, it sucked. I do understand how it’s nice to commiserate with someone else taking care of something that craps itself.

As I kept meeting the other moms, the conversation would go as follows,


“Hi, I’m Jessica.”

“Do you have a baby?”

“No, I’m here with my friend, those are her two over there.”


No baby. End of conversation.

My take away from all of this is that internet mommy dating is a lot like regular internet dating, it’s rarely great but it would be somewhat better with a drink.

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