I’ll tell you my password if you promise to remember it

Passwords are hard to remember. That’s why it’s so enticing to use my name. I can remember that.

I go to sign up for health care. The website asks me to create a password. I put in one of my usuals. I know, I know, I shouldn’t have “usuals,” but if I’m already bad enough to use my name, how many options do I have? It tells me,

“There are too many letters from your name in your password.”

That’s because all the letters in my name are in my password.

I try again. Still too many. I finally made something else up and one week later I can’t remember it to save my life and in this case my life may very well be on the line. I am signing up for health care.

I take a break from that and head to Sephora.com to order some makeup. The last time I ordered from this site was almost a year ago. I try to sign in. Wrong password. I try again. That password is wrong too. I give up and click on “forgot password.” The site responds,

“What is the answer to your security question?”

I look carefully. It’s not telling me my security question.

It’s bad enough when the security question asks who was my first boyfriend. I don’t remember who I put. That guy from high school? Or college? Or maybe kindergarten?

This makeup site expects me to remember the answer to my security question and the question.

I should try signing up for health care again.

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