Don’t worry, I’ve got neon pink panties to match

I bought a new dress for Turks and Caicos. Online the colors looked like light pink fading to fuchsia. When the dress arrived it turned out to be light pink fading to neon. Besides the neon pink from 1990, I was in love with the dress. I had to keep it. I was already imagining all the twirls I would do on the beach.

A few nights into the vacation Captain and I are headed out for dinner. It was supposed to be with his brother and sister-in-law, but ended up being with his parents. I’m wearing the dress no matter what. I do a couple preliminary twirls around the kitchen. Captain’s dad walks in,
“You love that dress don’t you?”
“I do!”
We head to beach to make a video of me twirling until I’m so dizzy I’m staggering and tripping over pink neon. We walk into the restaurant. We’re seated at a table near an older couple. After they leave Captain’s dad remarks,
“Your dress made quite the impression, that man couldn’t stop staring.”
Captain’s mom exclaims,
“But he’s so old!”
Captain’s dad replies,
“He’s old, but he’s not dead.”


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