Mom’s got a date at my bar

I’ve seen great dates and I’ve seen one part of a date go away in a cop car.
Earlier this week I saw one of the best dates in awhile. There was so much smiling, great body language and many common interests.
“I like softball.”
“Me too. And I like tennis.”
“Me too! But I don’t have anyone to play with.”
I have to commend them,
“This seems like it’s going really well.”
“Thanks!” In unison.
Last night there was another date. It was going fine, but not great. The guy goes to the bathroom. The woman turns to me,
“How do you think it’s going?”
Mediocre. But it looks like you’ll sleep together anyway.
People ask me this alot. If you have to ask then you probably already know it could be better. And unless I believe the other person is a total douche, why would I be honest? I’m trying to make money here.
I tell her,
“Pretty good. I’ve seen alot worse.”
And of all the dates that have ever rolled through my bar, there’s a VIP one tonight. Mom, I’ll see you soon.

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