There’s an older regular whose bill is always about $50. What’s up for debate is the tip. Sometimes he leaves $10, sometimes $15 and if he’s in a really good mood $20. It all depends on how much I flirt with him. Some days I don’t have it in me. Yesterday I did.
I was flirting like I didn’t have anything else to do, because the bar was slow and I really didn’t have anything else to do. The regular gets his dinner. His brussels sprouts are undercooked. He’s not happy. I think to myself,
‘Dang it. There goes all my flirting down the drain. Now he’s cranky.’
I pour his last drink. I make it big. I tell him,
“That’s a daddy size.”
“Are you calling me daddy?”
“Yes I am.”
He hands me $20.