The things I’ll say for $20

There’s an older regular whose bill is always about $50. What’s up for debate is the tip. Sometimes he leaves $10, sometimes $15 and if he’s in a really good mood $20. It all depends on how much I flirt with him. Some days I don’t have it in me. Yesterday I did.

I was flirting like I didn’t have anything else to do, because the bar was slow and I really didn’t have anything else to do. The regular gets his dinner. His brussels sprouts are undercooked. He’s not happy. I think to myself,

‘Dang it. There goes all my flirting down the drain. Now he’s cranky.’

I pour his last drink. I make it big. I tell him,

“That’s a daddy size.”

“Are you calling me daddy?”

“Yes I am.”

He hands me $20.

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