Dating is very hard

First of all it’s amazing how long it’s taking me to write a one minute speech for Big Sister. 

Moving on.

Last night there was a first date at my bar. It seemed to be going really well. Four drinks in, they’re the last couple at the bar. I hear him tell her,

“I just lost over 30 pounds.”

“Really?”

That’s my reaction too. Really buddy? Because now all I can think about is what you look like 30 pounds heavier. And I’m sure that’s what she’s thinking too. Stomach? Face?

Telling the story of how you lost 30 pounds five years ago may be an entertaining anecdote if you’ve used up all your other material, but the story of how you just lost 30 pounds isn’t helpful.

The woman asks,

“How’d you do it?”

“My break-up.”

Double fail! Now you’re borderline talking about a taboo first date topic: exes and she’s imagining so if I end up with this guy, he’s gaining that 30 pounds back.

She goes to the bathroom. The guy asks me,

“Not bad for a first date huh?”

It seems to be spiraling out of control, but yes, it was a strong start.

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