Well. Acadia was lovely. We came home early because my 14-year-old Lab Booker wasn’t doing well. We knew he was old and probably didn’t have long, it was just a question of when would he go downhill. Only a few weeks ago he was still walking around with his puppy rattle in his mouth.

We put him to sleep. He’s gone. BB doesn’t understand. We watched the Daniel Tiger episode where his goldfish dies. We read a book about a dog getting old and dying and we’ve talked about it repeatedly because she keeps asking for him and he’s still dead.

Maybe she’ll remember him. Maybe she’ll remember all the dog food she’s eaten. I read not to make your dead pet’s things disappear immediately. I’ve been putting stuff away here and there. The dog food vanished the fastest. BB holds out her hand and demands,

“Dog food?”

“No. It’s all gone.”

“Dog treat?”

Nice try. Also all gone.

When Booker was alive I’d let BB eat some dog food. That seemed better than dealing with a tantrum every time I fed the dog. But with Booker dead, I can’t see paying $5 for organic blueberries to turn around and give BB the second cheapest dog food that Stop & Shop carries. Sometimes the cheapest if I catch the sales right.

Now BB doesn’t even form a full sentence about him, she just says,

“Booker?”

“Do you remember what we said about him?”

“He’s old and sad and we bury him in the dirt.”

Something like that.

2008, when he first came home with us and still had his balls