So excited to introduce the newest member of our family, Mr. Opal Shane Prada Curtis!

Posted on April 22, 2026 by Good Times with Jess

School vacation week and I’m home alone! As much as I love traveling with or without my children. I’m also a HUGE fan of being home alone without them.

And I’m not totally alone. Captain is here and there’s a new guy Opal snoozing in the corner.

Our kitten has arrived! Opal Shane Prada Curtis. Aka Opie. Opes. Opester. Opalicious. Opaltastic. Opalite.

BB named him. We may have been listening to Taylor Swift.

Opal sounds like he might be a she, but he is a he. Or a they. His testicles are long gone.

He is a love and an absolute maniac. He’s a decent split of sweet, sleepy cuddles and pure chaos.

As much as I would identify as a dog person, Opal’s immediate and consistent use of the litter box is EVERYTHING. So maybe I’m a dog person currently in my cat era.

I’m also pretty sure I’ve lost my mind.

It started when I bought the robotic self-cleaning litter box, then a cat tree that goes up to our ceiling, then cat toys, a self-filtering water fountain bowl, cat beds, and last but not least, a cat treadmill.

As I pushed aside kid toys in an already overflowing living room, Captain looked on in disbelief. There was still no cat in our house, but I was ready.

Fast forward to last night when Opal slept for most of the night on Captain’s chest.

I am a love-to-snuggle-while-I’m-awake person, then I want to roll over, have no contact with anyone and fall asleep.

Captain will very happily snuggle while awake and asleep, so Opal picked the right person.

Although really Opal’s person is BB. When she’s here, we close Opal in with her at night. Which is great.

I thought Opal was going to start World War III with my girls having a cat fight for the ages, but not the biggest surprise, RB is somewhat terrified.

Before Opal’s arrival, the original plan had been that we’d try to get Opal to alternate nights sleeping with one kid then the other.

That was probably always going to be impossible, so a near miss on that crisis. RB doesn’t scream every time the cat comes near her, but enough that he’s learned she shouldn’t be his first choice.

If you ask RB what she wants to be when she grows up she says,

“A singer, but not the main one. A veterinarian. A soccer player and a tennis player.”

So after another high pitch scream when the three-pound kitten rubbed her leg, I mentioned,

“It doesn’t seem like you’d enjoy being a veterinarian.”

RB scowled at me, marched to her room, slammed her door and said,

“Don’t let that cat in here. I don’t want him messing up my stuff.”

BB is obsessed with him enough for all of us. Opal and BB have found true love and RB has time for self-discovery before applying for vet school.

After 30,000 cat photos in the last week, it looks like my photo app will now be dedicated to Opal. What kids? Haven’t seen them.

I agree, my hair looks like a wild animal. Opal has killed it.

Blizzard of 26, Litter Boxes and Sex Pillows

Posted on February 27, 2026 by Good Times with Jess

What just happened?!

I have no issue with the three feet of snow, especially considering we didn’t lose power. The most challenging part was the third snow day.

I was mentally prepared for one. Then when we woke up Monday morning, I was mentally prepared for Tuesday to be a snow day too. But Wednesday really blindsided me.

Then someone said they didn’t think it was safe to go back Thursday.

It is NOT safe for them to stay home. They are at each other’s throats. I sent them outside Tuesday and I could still hear them screaming at each other.

Granted the first time I sent them out, they got stuck and were screaming for help.

They went out Monday as soon as the wind was dying down. It took them 20 minutes to make their way from the garage to the front door. The door could not be opened because of the three feet of snow.

I yelled through the closed door,

“Go back to the garage!”

They made it halfway and then there was more screaming. I had to put on my snow pants and rescue RB. They marched straight into the house. BB yelled at the living room,

“Alexa! Why did our mom send us out in the blizzard?”

“If you’ve been cooped up inside because of a blizzard, she probably wanted you to get some fresh air.”

BB nodded.

Everyone is much more amenable with Alexa than they are with me.

I didn’t want anyone to miss a moment. I tell them,

“This is the biggest snowstorm of our lives! I don’t know if we’ll ever see a bigger one!”

“Can we stay in?”

“Yes, but we’re going out tomorrow!”

The next day I spent hours shoveling the two front steps. My children tried to frolic nearby, but could only stagger around. BB struggled through snow up to her waist and RB tried to stay in BB’s footsteps or else she couldn’t go anywhere at all.

BB came to me,

“I hate to say this, but this is too much snow.”

“I know.”

“I would rather have seven to eight inches.”

Anything less than two feet is starting to sound very reasonable.

And not to go on and on about Heated Rivalry, but I need you to know I traded in ESPN for HBO Max. I feel very good about this.

My targeted ads know full well what I’m up to. My ad stream looks like this:

Cat litter box
Cat tree
Cat litter box
Sex pillow
Cat food
Cat litter box
Sex pillow
Cat tree
Sex pillow

After watching, rewatching and rewatching Heated Rivalry, I know full well that this sex pillow does not need to be for HER. There are a couple hockey players who would enjoy it too.

It took me an absurd amount of mindless scrolling to realize these weren’t just regular pillows. I told Captain,

“Litter boxes and sex pillows have taken over my feed.”

“Two things I never thought we’d have.”

Huh.

I’m not surprised he never thought we’d have a litter box. But a sex pillow? Doesn’t seem so far fetched.

We now own a litter box, a cat tree, a cat bed and many, many pillows. They’re just waiting for their chance to identify as a sex pillow.

If all goes well, our new, fluffy, baby kitty will be arriving after we get back from Austria. And believe it or not, we’re all excited for MORE snow.

Sending my children out into the blizzard.

I don’t know who’s more photogenic, the plow or our house. This is also the moment that our mailbox got plowed back in after we’d cleared it out.
I’ve decided we don’t need mail until May.

Seafaring snail dudes summer at the Cape

Posted on June 30, 2024 by Good Times with Jess

I’ve had many pets in my life: three dogs, one parrot, two chickens, one rabbit, one cat and several fish.

Much to BB’s consternation, all she’s had is one dog who died when she was two.

She’s desperate for a pet.

The family decision is that two years from now, when all our extra money isn’t going toward pre-k or kindergarten, we’ll get a dog.

Two years is a long time. BB found me in the kitchen and presented a large caterpillar.

“I’m keeping him for a pet.”

If by keeping him, you mean keeping him outside.

Then yesterday she fell in love with two garden snails: Swirly and Speedy. She begged and begged and begged to keep them.

Speedy is not a name you might expect for a snail, but Speedy has proven themselves worthy.

Speedy prefers they/them pronouns considering they’re hermaphroditic. Put any two snails together and you can get baby snails. Or so says Google. Yes I’ve been doing my snail research.

I haven’t seen any snail hanky panky yet, but there’s still time.

BB presented her sand pail with her snails and pleaded her case. My initial reaction was,

Absolutely not! They belong in the wild and we’re not buying a terrarium.

Then it turned out we already had a terrarium, with dirt in it nonetheless. It became impossible to say no.

Next thing I knew I was cutting up strawberries for Swirly and Speedy and misting their habitat with water.

I wouldn’t think twice about them out in the wild, but now I fear for their life. I would like to say no pet snail has ever died on my watch.

And that’s why we’ll be releasing them in a week.

It’s either that or take them sailing to Martha’s Vineyard.

As excited as my in-laws would be for us to show up on their boat with the addition of a terrarium, I’m not convinced these are seafaring snails.

Don’t even talk to me about looking into snail-sitting.

If Swirly and Speedy want to stay close by, then maybe we’ll see them again. If not, I wish them the best and pray for whatever new wild animal BB gets her hands on next.