Here’s to my new favorite town

Posted on May 21, 2025 by Good Times with Jess

I don’t have to move after all!

I didn’t know that I would cry tears of joy over a town election, but I did.

National politics may still be deplorable, but short of leaving the country, we’re not going anywhere.

We’re so committed to staying that we bought a new sactional for my home office. I do not think it’s deductible.

For Mother’s Day I received this note from five-year-old RB:

I’ll address this in chronological order:

There are people in my family with blue eyes; I am not one of them.

I do not love to eat chicken. My family loves to eat chicken, so here we are.

One of my favorite drinks may be wine… just wondering why the daily coffee didn’t make the cut.

A box of instant mac ‘n cheese is one of my specialties.

I do dearly love to exercise.

I’m not sure what games she’s referring to, but piggy-back ride up to bed is a favorite of mine.

Snuggles are the best.

And snuggles on my new sactional are great too.

I don’t know who has put together a Lovesac sactional before, BUT it made me question all of my life choices.

I’m surprised there was no offer of white-glove service. Not that we would have paid extra for that. I know a guy. But still.

I ended up carrying in all fifteen boxes by myself, including six that weighed fifty-three pounds.

The boxes arrived at 1pm when Captain was at the office and I had dreams of having my coffee (2nd favorite drink) on my new sactional the next morning.

After blood, sweat, so much sweat, no tears, we hit 11:30pm and Captain pondered the pillows. He said,

“I’m wondering if that pillow should be switched with this one.”

I could not have finished the couch in nine hours without Captain, but I also couldn’t find any level of caring about the pillows.

They’re lucky to be stuffed into their cases and they may now go wherever they want.

“I have to go to bed.”

We are less than a week into our 60-day trial period with free returns, but it’s safe to say, she’s not going anywhere.

In part because she’s very comfortable, but also because I CAN’T IMAGINE BOXING THIS WHOLE THING UP.

As I struggled for hours to stuff cushions into washable covers. I said multiple times,

“I’m never washing this couch.”

Lies. All lies. Three days into the new couch, RB vomited all over it. Into the wash it went.

It came out perfect and putting one cushion back into its case is really not bad compared to upholstering twenty-seven different parts of the couch.

Come on over, have a seat, have a glass of wine, some chicken and mac ‘n cheese and some snuggles. I’m here.

On town election night I was at the Boston Ballet with a dear friend and the bathroom stall had this sign on the door. I don’t remember this from before, but maybe that’s because I’m always in a mad rush. It’s definitely worth holding onto your hopes and dreams. Overrides do happen.

Happy Hanukkah!!! Jury is out on this one…

Posted on December 7, 2023 by Good Times with Jess

When we moved to the burbs 6.5 years ago, the only Hanukkah decor I had was our actual menorah. We now own eight menorahs. Some are homemade and potentially flammable.

I added a bin of decor per year. There are seven bins. I will not be needing an additional bin this year, but it wasn’t a buy-nothing season either, despite Hanukkah being moments after Thanksgiving.

As you may know from previous posts, I adore Home Goods’ ability to have the most random, how-did-I-live-without-these, Hanukkah items. I walked in last week just to check and walked out with the most bejeweled, bedazzled, menorah wall-hanging I’ve ever seen.

Considering how sparkly and shiny everyone and everything is right now, this menorah is on trend. And if someone knows where to buy a faux-fur menorah, I’m sure I can find a spot for it.

The kids are ready. RB keeps shouting,

“I’m so excited for Hanukkah and candy eggs!”

“Candy eggs?!”

“Yeah. That bunny holiday!”

Hmmm.

RB has her priorities: candy.

The other day RB peered into her pumpkin bucket in despair. A few starbursts were scattered at the bottom. Then RB got a glimpse of BB’s halloween bucket still brimming with candy.

RB howls,

“It’s NOT FAIR!”

On October 31st, both buckets were equally full.

Every time RB sat down with her bucket, she made it her mission to unwrap and eat as many pieces of candy as possible. She eats candy in a way that’s very consistent with her personality: quick, efficient, and on to the next thing.

Every time BB sat down with her bucket, she picked up the same ring pop from the time before, sucked on it, day dreamed, sucked on it, day dreamed. Then she put her half-gone ring pop back in the wrapper to continue with another day.

She made zero progress consuming her candy bucket. This is very consistent with BB’s personality: no rush, no… rush…, really she has zero sense of urgency. Her candy bucket might still be around by the time we get to candy eggs.

This blog post has been open on my computer all week. I was chugging along, on track to finish it this morning and start Hanukkah tonight, but then everything came to a screeching halt. Yesterday around 4pm RB vomitted everywhere. She continued to vomit all night. Then she woke up in the morning and declared herself all better.

I am NOT all better. I’m sleep deprived, although still healthy. The question is for how long. Can I and the remaining members of my family stay healthy for 8 nights? Seems unlikely considering how much vomit I came in contact with. But it’s not called a Hanukkah miracle for nothing.

In between vomits yesterday I threw a blanket on the floor and put RB on top. She started to scream. Considering she had been maintaining her silent misery, I had no idea why she was screaming all of sudden. I cry,

“What is it?!”

She points her finger at the edge of the blanket on the floor. Half the tassels are out and half are in. RB is clenching her whole body and screams,

“THAT!”

I flick the edge of the blanket back and forth so all the tassels are going the same way. RB relaxes and goes silent.

I would’ve thought that being on a vomit spree would put one’s OCD on hold, but it seems to be the opposite. Uneven blanket tassels are UNBEARABLE. Remind me to never buy anything with tassels again.

RB’s attention to detail was strong all week, even before she got sick. BB likes the Hanukkah decorations and accepts however I put it out. RB has specific opinions about how it should look.

I have one Hanukkah house, waiting for me to start a Hanukkah village. In front of the Hanukkah house I put a dreidel person and a menorah person. The other day RB added a toothbrush person.

I didn’t think of the toothbrush person as someone celebrating Hanukkah, but we need all the support we can get.

Content warning: lots and lots of vomit

Posted on November 17, 2022 by Good Times with Jess

The stomach bug just tore through our home.

That makes it sound like a speedy, whirlwind of a time. It may have been a whirlwind of bodily fluids, but it was more of a meandering pace.

Over a week ago, RB got sick in the car. It had been a long ride: thirty minutes to the trampoline park in Plymouth.

I thought, ‘maybe car sick?’ Although she’s never been carsick in her life.

We leave BB to jump her heart out and I drive thirty minutes straight back home. I put RB in the tub and down for a nap. An hour later she throws up in the crib, wipes her face with her lovey, rolls over and goes back to sleep.

NEXT LEVEL GROSS. But considering I was already going to have to wash everything, why rush in there if she wasn’t asking for me?

An hour later she’s awake and I’ve got her back in the tub. She’s dry heaving in the tub. I get her in front of the TV with towels covering every surface around her.

She refuses any sort of vomit receptacle and will only let it come out wherever it may.

By bedtime she’s done throwing up and sleeps straight through the night. The next day she is her happy, energetic self. Everyone else in the family feels fine.

Seems like it might be a fluke. The next day RB is worse again. Her dinner from the night before returns. She spends the rest of the day in front of the TV and never throws up again.

That night Captain and I eat a hearty dinner. A couple hours later it is clear that that was a mistake. We spend the night separately. Each of us with our own toilet.

Twenty-four hours later we’re on the mend. Forty-eight hours later we’re at a party drinking beers, eating tacos and realizing maybe we’re not as well as we had hoped.

We return home and I ask BB, as I’ve been asking for a week,

“How are you feeling?”

“Good!”

Two hours later, not so good. BB spent the rest of the weekend cradling a trash can. Monday morning she felt all better. I kept her home from school just in case. Tuesday morning I sent her on her way.

Hours later the nurse calls. BB was sick at school. I am beyond sorry about that, to her and to anyone nearby.

Wednesday, yesterday, she spent the day a free woman. No school, no vomit and no mom.

There are real perks to Captain working from home.

Today is the first day everything seems to be back to normal. RB declares,

“I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“WHAT?!”

“I need TV.”

Another test of my love for a ski trip

Posted on April 1, 2019 by Good Times with Jess

Back from a successful week in Smuggler’s Notch, VT. By the skin of our teeth.

Last year in Killington we all got the Norovirus, there was vomit everywhere. It was the WORST. And the chances of that happening again? Well it didn’t even cross my mind.

Our drive up was smooth. BB slept, Captain and I chatted. We only made 2 wrong turns. We pull into the parking lot at central registration. My plan is to run in, get the info, then we’ll drive to our room. No need to get BB out and back into the car for this.

We picked Smuggler’s Notch because it’s supposed to be really good for kids, also it’s the only ski school I could find willing to put an unpotty-trained 2-year-old on skis.

I join a line of dads checking in. Some of them may have left another dad in the car, but based on the number of dads in line, there had to be a fair number of moms in the cars with the kids.

I contemplate this dynamic. We pulled in. I got out. I didn’t put it up for discussion.

I return to the car. I open the door. I’m not in the car yet, Captain and I are starting to talk. He peers into the rear view mirror.

“Uh, she’s throwing up!”

I yank her door open. I stare. She throws up more. I stare at her covered in vomit. The carseat full of vomit. Her security bunnies soaked in vomit. UGH. We decide to drive the 2 minutes to our room and deal with it there.

It’s 6pm. We unpack. Get clean clothes on. BB is interested in a snack. She seems to feel fine. I toss it up to being in the car too long and maybe car sickness? Although that’s never happened before and the car had been stationary for 10 minutes.

There’s laundry in the building. We’re ready to toss everything in: car-seat liner, clothes, blankets and bunnies.

BB shouts,

“Don’t wash my bunnies!”

Captain tells her,

“We have to.”

She starts to freak out. I say,

“Wait! BB, I want you to smell your bunny.”

I hand it to her. She doesn’t smell it.

“I need you to take a really big smell.”

She does. Her whole face puckers. She pushes the bunny at me,

“Wash it!”

That’s what I thought.

We put everything in the wash. It’s high-efficiency meaning it’s going to take 2 hours. At this point that’ll be 9pm. Then everything still needs to go in the dryer. Will BB fall asleep without her bunnies? We’re about to find out. We head to dinner.

BB does not fall asleep without her bunnies. Captain spends a fair amount of time in the shower cleaning the plastic frame of the car seat. We’re all up until after 10pm.

It was silly of me to think she’d sleep any later than her normal 7am. She’s up and chugging water. I don’t think anything of it. Then she’s puking again.

We get cleaned up. She pukes again. We have a small respite, maybe one TV show worth. She’s hungry. I let her have a little applesauce. She pukes again. We manage to go an hour with nothing. We contemplate going to the restaurant for breakfast. We get our coats on. She pukes again. We take our coats off.

Is it really possible that we’re going to have another ski vacation like this? I may never ski again.

And if I thought a 1-year-old puking was tough, BB is proving that a 2-year-old is far worse. She is now capable of puking into a trash can, but has decided that she would rather not and is managing to get it on as many clothes and surfaces as possible.

I feel like I might lose my mind. I also don’t want all of us to get it like last time, so I’m washing my hands every other thing I do.

Then she naps. Then she feels fine. She wants to eat. I’m rationing out food. She’s angry with me and I feel terrible, but if I let her have her way she’d eat 2 giant pancakes and that sure doesn’t seem like a good idea. With half a pancake in her tummy and the promise of more later we head to the FunZone.

There’s a bouncy house, but I don’t give it a second thought. BB doesn’t really like those. She heads straight for the bouncy house and Captain starts helping her in. I offer,

“I don’t think this is a good idea.”

I feel 99% sure we’re about to leave this bouncy house covered in vomit.

We don’t. We do cancel BB’s first day in ski school. Not taking any chances. She starts after a day and a half of being puke free. Captain and I drop her off together. I’m used to dropping her off at the Y, but Captain has never done that. I’m reassuring him as much as I’m reassuring BB. Everyone is going to have fun and be ok.

They give us a link for an app we can download to access photos of BB throughout her day. We drop her off at 9am and are planning to pick her up at 1pm.

The app is the best and worst thing. At 9:40am I shout at Captain,

“There’s an update! She had a snack!”

“Oh yeah?”

“A nutrigrain bar.”

9:45am:

“Another update! Wet diaper.”

10:15am:

A photo of her doing arts and crafts.

I am spending my relatively expensive child-free morning compulsively checking this app. I feel like an idiot.

11:15am, I tell Captain,

“There haven’t been any updates, they must be skiing.”

And ski she did, if by ski you mean she wore boots and skis and tolerated someone sliding her down a microscopic incline, all for a video for Mom and Dad and so someday BB can breezily say ‘oh yeah I’ve been skiing since I was two.’ Or so she can say, ‘Oh I skied once when I was two and never again.’

We were very happy to see each other and she was exhausted. I ask her,

“What did you think? How was your day?”

“Good.”

“Did you have a favorite part?”

“When the lady with the flower pants gave me more ketchup at lunch.”

For the rest of vacation BB continued to feel fine; we were all fine. No one was sick. I have no idea what all that was, but the car seat is the cleanest it’s been since we took it out of the box.

Until next year.

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