Who was the professional farter for the creation of the high quality sounds?

A group of kids come to the bar to drink. One tells me he’s a server at a sister restaurant. He says,

“I don’t know if it matters.”

Now that you’ve said it, it matters. You better be on your best behavior.

They proceed to get out their smart phones and initiate an app that makes fart noises.

I googled fart apps. There seem to be several highly rated ones if you’re interested. A general description is below:

“Xtreme Fartz is a fun fart noise app because fart noises never get old!

-Set a timed fart to go off when you choose.
-Shake your phone to make it fart.
-Play your favorite farts as much as you want.

The high quality sounds are all professionally recorded and tuned.”

So there you have it. Phone fart noises filled my bar for fifteen minutes. The server tries to apologize to me,

“I’ll buy you a drink at the holiday party.”

“It’s an open bar.”


More fart noises. Finally they decide to leave. As they go, the server calls back to me,

“See you Sunday!”

A few seats down a regular says,

“I can’t believe how immature they were. Why on earth are you seeing them Sunday?”

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