Broccoli has never looked sexier

A 34-year-old guy sits down at the bar. He starts lecturing me,

“I love America. What we need are old fashioned heroes. I’m from Vermont. Everyone has a farm up there. And when I say I love America, it’s not like I haven’t traveled. We need to get back to the America from the 1800’s. Do you know what I’m saying?”

“No. And if that’s true, then why aren’t you farming in Vermont?”

“I’m studying architecture. I want to build castles.” He holds up a photo of a tile floor. “Isn’t that beautiful?”

“It’s nice.”

“We need classic heroes. I’m all for gay people. My uncle is gay; I live in his apartment building, but they shouldn’t be leading the way.”

I walk away. This guy is nuts. I report to a server what he said. The server replies,

“Ask him how he feels about blacks.”

I head back over and crazy guy asks,

“What do you like to do?”

“I like to write.”

“What do you write?”

“Non-fiction humor.”

“Are you going to write about me?”

“Probably.”

“Women want real men, not sensitive men who eat broccoli.”

“I’m all for broccoli.”

“How old are you?”

“Thirty-one.”

“Oh you’re ticking.”

Google has a surprising number of sexy men eating broccoli.

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