Mom, I need a note for the homeless guy

Back in the day, when I got 15 minutes of recess, I ran around like a crazy person. And I got hot. All the teachers standing still in their winter parkas were freezing, so they assumed I was freezing. They could’ve chased Justin around the playground, but instead they stood there and tried to make me wear my coat.

Exasperated, I told my mom about my struggle. How can I catch Justin if I’m too hot to run around? She wrote me a note. Anytime a teacher tried to make me wear my coat, I got to whip out a note that said and I paraphrase,

“Jessica does not have to wear a coat if she doesn’t want to.”

That did the trick and I’ve been fine every since. Until now.

The other day, I dash out of the office to grab lunch. A homeless looking man is slumped on the sidewalk thumbing through his smart phone. He lifts his head as I walk by,

“Lady, lady, lady!”

There are lots of ladies around. He could mean me, but either way I keep walking.

I come dashing back again returning to the office. I’m busy, in case you didn’t notice all the dashing. The homeless guy shouts at me,


I glance at him.

“Lady you need to wear a coat.”

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