Who’s ready for Hanukkah?! You know I am

Posted on December 5, 2025 by Good Times with Jess

It’s that time of year when I drag the 3-foot metal Hanukkah sign out of our attic, along with many other Hanukkah bins.

I actually did it two weeks ago. I’m leaving tomorrow for Austria and I’m back in Boston on the 14th right when everyone will be lighting candles for the first night of Hanukkah.

And while my children seem unconcerned about me missing lighting candles, the concern for presents is real.

They are wrapped and ready in our library/office/gym/recycling catch-all room. They are covered in a large sheet. BB knows they’re there, but I didn’t tell RB because she’s RB.

RB wandered into that room to pick out a book for bedtime. She has plenty of books in her room, but it’s a brilliant excuse to go back downstairs.

She wound her way around the odd covered heap and said,

“Is that the wooden car all covered up?”

“I don’t know.” I really don’t know. What the heck is she talking about? Wooden car?

RB struggled to get access to the bookshelf she wanted. She groaned,

“GRRR! This wooden car is in the way! Can we uncover it?”

“No!”

She settled on a book and marched out. As she passed Captain she complained,

“That wooden car is in there all covered up and it’s in the way!”

I swear to you I have ZERO idea what she’s talking about, but obviously she has no idea those are the Hanukkah presents. May they still be unwrapped when I get home.

I have said I have enough Hanukkah tchotchkes, but that feeling only lasts until the next amazing Hanukkah sighting at Home Goods.

Two weeks ago I dropped the girls at Hebrew School, ran some errands and low and behold I found myself in the parking lot, with many other women, waiting for the doors of Home Goods to open at 9:30am.

It was before Thanksgiving, so I wasn’t sure if there would be a Hanukkah display yet, but always worth checking when I’m in the neighborhood.

There was! I went straight for the little, lone, blue table in a sea of red Christmas. And pink Christmas. And turquoise Christmas. Really any color Christmas.

There were two little pink Hanukkah houses. Ah I thought to myself, these are perfect for my traditional Hanukkah village that didn’t exist until last year.

Most of this repurposed Christmas stuff for Hanukkah didn’t exist at all ten years ago. I’m not oblivious to the fact that they’re just taking things and putting menorahs on them instead of Santa, but I’m here for it. Or in Home Goods for it.

As I perused the several pink Hanukkah houses, I felt someone beside me, another mom from Hebrew School!

I was so excited to see her! I have never had competition at the Hanukkah table before.

She sighed and said,

“I don’t decorate for any holidays. I don’t like tchotchkes.”

“You don’t like tchotchkes?” This store is a giant tchotchke.

“No, but my kids are begging for me to decorate.”

“You would die if you saw my house.”

I regard my shopping cart filled with more Hanukkah tchotchkes. Looks perfect.

You’ll be impressed to know that I popped into Home Goods again this week, saw a giant, pink, adorable, stuffed dreidel with legs so short and thin AND I DIDN’T BUY IT.

Also there are now TWO small Hanukkah tables in Home Goods. We’ll see if there’s anything worthwhile left when I get home.

Say a prayer for Tutu, Snowflurry and Menschie. Those are our elves on the shelves and our Mensch on the bench.

I’m not sure who believes what anymore and I have my doubts that they’re going to move when I’m away.

I mentioned this to BB, that they might not move and she looked horrified.

“Why wouldn’t they move?!”

“Oh I don’t know, they might be so busy they forget?”

She shakes her head.

The other day RB told me,

“I believe in reindeer, but I don’t believe in reindeer who fly.”

“I feel the same way.”

We also all still agree that everyone lives in the Land of Make Believe. So either everyone is suspending disbelief to believe in that guy from Israel and two gals from the North Pole, or I have no idea what’s going on.

BB and RB are running around making homes for them, writing them notes and feeding them. As BB reached for a bag of gummies to offer them, I joked,

“You should probably make sure those are kosher if you’re leaving them out for Menschie.”

“Kosher?”

“Does Menschie keep kosher? I don’t even know.”

BB started examining the bag, eyebrows knit in concern. Does she really think he’s real? It’s only last year he arrived after she asked me for him.

So will our magical cast of characters still be alive and well when I return or will they be hungry and stuck in the same corner all week? Only time will tell.

This morning they’re very happy in the Hanukkah village of yesteryear or actually of this week. It’s very new.

A friend from book club has expressed a desire to see my Hanukkah tchotchkes. I’ll be home Dec 14th and anyone is welcome to stop by. Hanukkah shoes optional, but I’ll be wearing mine.

One last thing about that guy from Israel

Posted on January 16, 2025 by Good Times with Jess

I know we’re well into January. The Happy-New-Year email from the school nurse announcing large amounts of norovirus, pneumonia, and strep, didn’t really need to start with “Happy New Year.”

And the last thing you need is another Hanukkah post, but considering Hanukkah made it into January this year, I get a pass.

I meant to include this last week, but my brain no longer functions as a massive rolodex of blog content. The thoughts come and go. Sometimes they come back, sometimes they’re gone forever.

On December 20th our Mensch on the Bench arrived. He landed in the vicinity of our elves. RB noticed him first,

“Look there’s a guy!”

BB came running,

“It’s a mensch on the bench!”

RB asks,

“Can we touch him?”

BB screams,

“NOOO you’ll ruin his magic!”

RB asks,

“Does he go to the North Pole?”

I feel woefully unprepared for a mensch on the bench, but this I’ve got covered thanks to my wonderful yoga buddy. I declare,

“I think he goes to Jerusalem.”

Both girls nod their heads. This makes sense. As much sense as anything can make when three magical dolls are sitting in your kitchen plant.

On Christmas Eve our elves returned to the North Pole, i.e. a nondescript box with all correspondence between them and BB. I stared at Mensch. He stared at me.

How could he abandon us the day before Hanukkah starts? So he stayed. And stayed.

Back at the beginning of December, when BB mentioned she’d like a mensch, and I ordered one, I didn’t think about having committed future Jessica to an additional nine days of finding new, novel locations for magical friends.

A little knot of dread welled up inside of me, but I reassured myself that Hanukkah will never be this late in the year again until who knows when, so I pushed through.

In mid-December, the first thing my kids did in the morning was rush around the house looking for our international friends. By the end of December, I wasn’t even sure I needed to move Mensch. Had they looked for him?

When I mentioned to a friend that Mensch goes back to Jerusalem every night, she asked,

“Is that safe?”

And the good news is it’s getting safer!

Way back in November, I committed to hosting book club January 9th. I told everyone my house may or may not still be decorated for Hanukkah. I didn’t want any pressure to clean up anything.

I ask BB,

“When does Mensch return to Jerusalem for the year?”

“Maybe when the Hanukkah decorations go away?”

I have never cleaned up so promptly. On January 2nd, still within the last official hours of Hanukkah, the decorations began to disappear.

But Mensch was already gone. He made a New Year’s departure. I can’t really be expected to continue this into January.

One late-December morning RB woke up, pounded downstairs and tromped past Mensch in a different kitchen plant. I have a plant problem. RB glanced at him and shouted to me,

“That guy from Israel is still here.”

The magic of the holidays is alive! Or not! Depending who’s asking

Posted on December 12, 2024 by Good Times with Jess

It’s that time of year again when I marvel at the enormous amount of Hanukkah decor I’ve accumulated and I don’t add anything else. NOT ONE THING.

JUST KIDDING. Home Goods had a giant, metal, light up sign, as tall as my children, with arrows showing you what direction Hanukkah is. It’s HERE!

If I jumped the shark four years ago when I purchased traditional Hanukkah gnomes. I don’t know what I’ve done now, considering this decoration doesn’t even fit in our storage bins

Tutu, our elf on the shelf is back, she had a baby. Which surprised all of us.

I bought a tiny American Girl doll elf, intending to give it as a gift Christmas Day/Hanukkah night. The tiny elf is so CUTE. I couldn’t resist it coming out sooner.

What I didn’t anticipate was that this would send RB down the rabbit hole of how babies are made and more specifically, how elf babies are made.

Things in the Land of Make Believe have deteriorated. I’m not sure who believes what at this point and I’m about ready to wave the white flag or one of my 37 Hanukkah dish towels.

I would like to tell you I did not buy another one this year, but that would be a lie.

RB (my 5-year old) has come down every morning and interrogated me.

A few weeks ago, before our elf appeared, she stared deep into my soul and asked,

“Is the Easter Bunny real or are you the Easter Bunny?”

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s you.”

“Ah.”

She does not like this non answer. She presses her nose against mine and yells

“TELL ME THE TRUTH!”

I cannot hold up to these interrogation techniques. I whimper,

“It’s me.”

“I KNEW IT!”

At which point BB (8-years old) joined us and I thought RB would tell all. RB didn’t say a word.

Then Tutu our elf appeared. BB reminded RB not to touch her or else that would ruin her magic. BB ran around writing notes to Tutu, making her jewelry and when I wasn’t home, putting out a charcuterie board with cheese for her.

Why Captain thought that was a good idea I DO NOT KNOW.

The next morning RB pressed her face against mine and yelled,

“Is Tutu magic or DID YOU BUY HER AT THE STORE?”

“What do you think?”

“I think she’s real and pretend.”

“Sounds about right.”

No one should have to deal with the 7am pre-breakfast wrath of RB. (Who may be hard of hearing, so we’ll give her a small benefit of doubt with the yelling.) She locks eyes with me, staring deep beyond my soul again and shouts,

“DID YOU BUY TUTU AT THE STORE?!! TELL ME THE TRUTH!”

“Yes, I did.”

“I knew it.”

Again BB joined us and I was sure RB would tell her the new information. RB didn’t say a word. Not only did RB not say a word, but she continued to join BB in talking to Tutu and relaying messages for Santa.

Then two nights ago RB lost her first tooth! She accepted her money and hasn’t asked a single question about the toothfairy.

This morning, in what has continued to be my 7am torture session, RB asked,

“Does Santa really bring presents or is it you and Dad?”

Months ago I told both kids,

“This year, because the first night of Hanukkah is the same day as Christmas, we’re not going to do any Christmas presents. We’ll just do Hanukkah presents.”

BB said,

“That’s ok, because Santa will still bring us something.”

And so Santa set aside one gift for Christmas, because as you may have guessed, I have a strong affinity for Hanukkah.

This morning, RB wouldn’t even give me her usual good morning hug, kiss and snuggle. She demanded answers about Santa. I asked,

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s you and dad.”

“Yeah.”

“IS IT?!? TELL ME THE TRUTH!!!”

“Yes, it’s Dad and me.”

BB told me recently that a friend had told her and RB that the Easter Bunny wasn’t real. I asked BB,

“What do you think?”

“She made those muddy footprints in our living room one year!”

“That’s true. I think the Easter Bunny is like a unicorn. You can believe in them if you want.”

“Unicorns aren’t real.”

“Right.”

“The Easter Bunny is.”

So I think we’re in the land of BB wanting to believe. And I’m not sure what land RB is in. She believes and doesn’t believe and hasn’t said a word to BB about any of it.

To put this all over the absolute top. BB came home from Hebrew school this week and asked,

“Why don’t we have a Mensch on the Bench?”

“I don’t know. We have two elves. Isn’t that enough?”

“But the Mensch on the Bench is for Hanukkah.”

“Is the Mensch on the Bench magic?”

This is a huge question of mine. The whole elf on the shelf thing goes along with Santa and all that make believe. BB ponders the Mensch magic dilemma and replies,

“Maybe?”

Our Mensch on the Bench is facing a shipping delay from whichever magical place with tariffs he’s coming from, but he should be here December 20th.

I asked my fellow Jewish yoga buddy,

“I don’t know what I’m doing with the Mensch, is he magic? Where does he go every night? Not back to the North Pole.”

“Jerusalem!”

Of course he does. Please give a warm welcome to our future Mensch and the last bit of Hanukkah decor I will buy. Until next week.

Santa, Mickey, and our elf. I’ll let you know how it ends

Posted on December 21, 2021 by Good Times with Jess

My ambivalent relationship with Santa continues.

BB loves the guy.

I remember my disappointment when I found out the Tooth Fairy wasn’t real and that was only a couple bucks here or there. I don’t wish I’d never believed, but the transition to not believing was a downer.

How crushed will BB be?

I keep asking other people how they felt when they learned the truth and in return everyone asks if BB is starting to have doubts.

Zero. Zero doubts. If anything, she’s doubling down on believing.

We’re headed to Disney in two weeks and BB has been studying her guidebook as if there’s a midterm coming up.

She points to Mickey and Minnie on the cover, who are looking fabulous in their 50th anniversary gear by the way, and asks,

“Are they real or people in costume?”

“What do you think?

“Well considering they can walk, and with smiles like those… They’re definitely real.”

So that’s where we’re at.

Santa on the bubble barge came to our neighborhood last week.

BB tells me,

“It was the real Santa.”

“How do you know?”

“I looked at his beard. How could he be fake with a beard like that?”

How could he?

And I don’t subscribe to this naughty list. It causes BB anxiety.

Over and over I remind her that she’s getting Christmas presents whether or not she’s nice to her sister. Even if it would be really nice if she were nice to her sister or at least maintain the status quo.

BB tells me,

“I told my friends that you said there’s no naughty list for me and they said you’re wrong. There is a naughty list.”

There’s nothing I can say to prove I know more than a 5-year-old.

I’ve been playing along for a few weeks now, but reached a breaking point.

A few days ago BB came home and asked our elf-on-the-shelf Tutu to please bring her a candy cane. I meant to put out a couple candy canes, but I forgot. Tutu moved. A miracle in itself.

The next morning BB was tearing the house apart in a fit,

“There are no candy canes! I asked Tutu for candy canes. So-and-so’s elf gave them a this and So-and-so’s elf gave them a that and Tutu hasn’t given me anything.”

When did the elves start bringing presents?! Santa help me.

Maybe because it was the first conversation of my day or maybe because it was Dec 18th, but something snapped. I wanted to throw the “magic” out the window. I tell BB,

“I grew up with no elf and I didn’t believe in Santa. Many people in this world do not have an elf or Santa. And maybe your elf knows that you had 8 nights of Hanukkah and now you’re going to have Christmas.”

Unswayed, BB tells me,

“I know, but I believe in Santa.”

I know. And believe it or not, Tutu brought candy canes the next night. RB gobbled hers up before it was out of the wrapper and BB’s is still untouched on the counter.

Who knows what RB makes of all this. Her priority is candy. She’s still walking around asking,

“More Happy Halloween?”

….

Don’t worry Goofy, we’ll be reunited soon!

If only that hat still fit. But I wouldn’t mind finding that Goofy cap!

No real Goofy here, but I felt like this was a quality photo.

‘Tis the season

Posted on December 9, 2019 by Good Times with Jess

Two months postpartum and it’s that time of year. Having a new baby for the holidays is simultaneously lovely and a terrible idea.

Last week I managed to throw out the rotting pumpkin on our front steps and Tutu our elf on the shelf is out and about. She hasn’t remembered to move from the plant in the kitchen. But she did remember to get out of the attic, so points for that.

Update: as of this morning Tutu is nowhere to be found. Either she’s back at the North Pole for good or Captain decided to take initiative.

Update on the update. Captain moved her! She was on top of the kitchen light and Captain has earned himself a new job.

Note on the updates: Before kids I used to write these blogs in one sitting at 11am. Now I write them over the course of a week, starting at 6am. That’s why it’s possible to need multiple updates.

Ok that’s it. No more asides.

Hanukkah decorations are in full swing and I’m ready to wrap presents as soon as I get a minute without a kid, so maybe next year.

I know it’s too soon to say much about RB’s personality, but as much as BB is a clone of Captain, RB seems to be more like me. At the very least she seems chill and very smiley and happy despite being congested for 6 out of the 8 weeks she’s been alive.

It’s tough having an older sibling in school. BB spent the first month of RB’s life sneezing and coughing all over her. In the last month BB decided she’s capable of covering, which is wonderful, but still hasn’t prevented us from sharing every cold.

An email comes in from BB’s school: ‘just want to let you know a child has hand, foot and mouth.’

Oh help us.

Through all the colds, spitting up enormous amounts of milk and phlegm all over her face and into her eyes, because back is best? RB is still smiley.

I know people say babies don’t smile socially for several weeks, but I SWEAR RB has been smiling socially since she was born. She smiles for everyone. I’m not that indiscriminate with my smiles, but close.

On the other hand, if you get a smile out of BB, you’ve EARNED it. There are a million other things I could list that make BB and Captain twins, including their artistic talents, but there’s one recent discovery that I’m in awe of.

Captain can fart on command. I have a moderate amount of control to stop a fart, but I have no idea how to create one on cue.

During a moment of dinnertime tension: BB playing with her carrot sticks, me about to take her plate away, Captain tried to lighten the mood. He directed a fart at BB. I looked at her. She had a funny face. Was she upset? She directed a fart back at Captain. He did another one at her, she did another one at him!

Amazing! Such control, especially for someone who still won’t poop in the potty.

BB tries again. She’s running on empty. Frustrated she declares,

“I need more toots! How do I make more toots?”

Captain offers,

“Eat more green beans.”

The incentive is strong enough to incite a green bean nibble before the playing begins again and I take the plate away.

We relent on the cupcake because when everyone is exhausted, snotty and BB with her double ear infection isn’t eating, but will eat the chocolate frosting off a cupcake and then go to bed. A deal is made.

Also a deal was made to write about Captain farting on command. He said it was okay as long as I include a Ren and Stimpy photo. Here ya go.

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Despite the supposed war on Christmas, here we are

Posted on December 20, 2018 by Good Times with Jess

Jew here and it’s Christmas time. I never celebrated it until a few years ago, but my Jewish soul is no match for my desire to put lighted reindeer on my lawn. The main problem is I have no sense of nostalgia for Christmas like I do for Hanukkah, or Halloween, or any other holiday I grew up celebrating.

We’re hosting Christmas day this year. It’s just Captain’s immediate family, but still. There needs to be food. What food? For Passover there’s matzo ball soup, for Hanukkah there’s latkes, for Christmas there’s? I turn to Captain. This is his holiday. He is an unreliable source of information. He’s just not sure.

I can’t fathom this. I text his mom:

“Do you guys usually have turkey or ham for Christmas day? I come from a long line of people who went out for Chinese food.”

I learned that both have been done, so we’re going with ham and maybe a kugel and maybe some wonton soup.

In the last couple months BB has decided she loves going to the playroom at the YMCA. She gets to play and I get 2 hours of babysitting. I can workout or I can sit on my butt in the cafe or I can do both. Two hours is a lifetime.

I’ve been going to yoga regularly and it feels great. There’s a lovely woman I look forward to chatting with every week, but today a guy was waiting for class too and he dominated the pre-class chatter. He turns to me,

“I trust you celebrate Christmas?”

If you’d asked me a few years ago, no. I tell him we celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas. He asks what’s on my kid’s list. My neon green bracelet is a dead giveaway that I have a child in the playroom.

I mention that BB got most of what she asked for for Hanukkah. Then he asks,

“Do you have more than one?”

“Nope.”

“Do you want more or is one good?”

This is the point where I’m tempted to scream,

“MY BABY JUST DIED.”

I don’t. I keep it together.

And speaking of dead things, I hope our tree makes it. It’s dropping a lot of needles. It doesn’t help that BB likes to pet it. She pats the tree and as needles scatter everywhere she says,

“Gentle, gentle.”

And then there’s the elf on the shelf. All of November I pondered whether we should have one and if we should, should we start this year? The one other Jewish mom in our town has a mensch on a bench. Actually there are at least 2 other Jewish moms in my town, but that’s all I know for sure.

I wonder about the mensch on a bench. The elf goes back to Santa every night, where does the mensch go? I have other questions, but it feels like if this is something we’re going to do because I don’t want BB to miss out on what most of the other kids are doing, then we might as well do the elf.

The day after Hanukkah ended our elf arrived. BB named her Tutu. I’ve yet to remember to move her until the next morning when I run around like a panicked person, although BB doesn’t get it or care if Tutu moves or not. Yesterday Tutu “flew” off the top of the refrigerator when I banged the door closed. I had to touch her, which means she probably won’t move for a few more days, that works for me.

I have many more thoughts on Christmas, but whatever you celebrate, I trust we can talk again soon.