Prenatal yoga. Put prenatal in front of anything and it costs at least $5 more than usual.

It’s like wedding stuff. Rental folding chair: not expensive. Wedding rental folding chair: very expensive and if you believe the rental company, choosing the least very expensive chair is a decision you will regret the rest of your life.

My marriage is off to a strong start, despite not upgrading our chair choice.

I’ve never taken a yoga class before. I’ve done many a yoga pose. Movement theater arts classes get weird. Now I have a lot of free time and I’m trying not to spend most of it on my butt.

I’ve taken a sampling of prenatal yoga classes. I found one I like and several that I hope to never stumble into again.

The classes are designed to do no harm to the baby. I appreciate that, but I’m not paying $20 to lie on a mat and focus on my breathing. That’s what I do every night when I’m trying to go to sleep.

One teacher says,

“Thank your baby for coming to class with you today.”

I will not. If I left it up to the Blurry Blob, we’d be sitting on the toilet eating a snack.