Prenatal yoga – once a week seems good enough

Prenatal yoga. Put prenatal in front of anything and it costs at least $5 more than usual.

It’s like wedding stuff. Rental folding chair: not expensive. Wedding rental folding chair: very expensive and if you believe the rental company, choosing the least very expensive chair is a decision you will regret the rest of your life.

My marriage is off to a strong start, despite not upgrading our chair choice.

I’ve never taken a yoga class before. I’ve done many a yoga pose. Movement theater arts classes get weird. Now I have a lot of free time and I’m trying not to spend most of it on my butt.

I’ve taken a sampling of prenatal yoga classes. I found one I like and several that I hope to never stumble into again.

The classes are designed to do no harm to the baby. I appreciate that, but I’m not paying $20 to lie on a mat and focus on my breathing. That’s what I do every night when I’m trying to go to sleep.

One teacher says,

“Thank your baby for coming to class with you today.”

I will not. If I left it up to the Blurry Blob, we’d be sitting on the toilet eating a snack.

prenatal yoga 2

The things I used to be able to do on my stomach

Millions of people have survived pregnancy and labor. Some haven’t, but I’m going to focus on the ones who have.

Last night was the first night my full bladder wasn’t the only sleeping issue. I love to sleep on my stomach. Many weeks ago, when I still had a discernible waist, I asked the doctor,

“When will I need to stop sleeping on my stomach?”

“Oh you’ll know.”

That didn’t sound very clinical. The What to Expect When You’re Expecting book offered a suggestion:

“Start sleeping on your side now, so you get used to it.”

I don’t like sleeping on my side. It seems like I’ll have to get used to it at some point so it might as well be not right now.

I continue to sleep on my stomach and forget that I ever wondered about this. Until last night.

I roll off Captain and onto my stomach. Ow. I wiggle around. Ow ow ow. My fetus, the five inch tall person between me, the mattress and a good night’s sleep is saying,

“Hey lady! You’re squishing me.”

“Are you sure?” I wiggle around on my stomach some more.

“I’m sure! That book told you to start sleeping on your side.”

I try one side. I try the other side. I try my stomach again just to confirm. All my tossing and mental arguing with Blurry Blob has woken Captain. He murmurs,

“Are you having trouble sleeping?”

“Yeah, I don’t think I can sleep on my stomach anymore.”

He reaches out to snuggle me and starts snoring again.

pregnant sleep on stomach 2

I need to convince Captain to let me cut a hole in our mattress.